On Wednesday, Aug. 26, former NFL player Jonathan Martin opens up via Twitter his life struggles such as drugs, bullying, attempting to kill himself and his plans to retire.
The former NFL offensive tackle addressed his past issues and experiences, starting from middle school and high school.
"You move to Los Angeles at 10 and attend JTD, then Harvard Westlake, both environments are completely new to you," Martin started. "You're one of just a handful of minorities in elite private schools. You learn to tone down your size and blackness by becoming shy, introverted, friendly, so you won't scare the little right white kids of their parents."
Martin also talked about not being "black enough," which made him think he didn't fit anywhere.
"Your talent and accomplishments on the field never seem to be able to overcome the demons that you carry with you from your middle school and high school experience," he wrote on Twitter and Facebook. "You're always inadequate, always the 'p*ssy,' the 'weird kid who acts white,'"
As a result, Martin confessed to "overcompensating" and creating a "persona separate from who you really are" to gain respect.
Years later, when Martin made it to the NFL, things didn't get better for him at all. Martin, who played for the Miami Dolphins and San Francisco 49ers, revealed a sport career filled with bullying, womanizing and an inflated ego.
"But you know right from wrong. And consider integrity to be incredibly important. The worst thing of all, in your mind, is being called a liar," Jonathan Martin wrote on Twitter.
"Your job leads you to attempt to kill yourself on multiple occasions. Your self-perceived social inadequacy dominates your every waking moment & thought. You're petrified of going to work," he added. "You either sleep 12, 14, 16 hours a day when you can, or not at all. You drink too much, smoke weed constantly, have trouble focusing on doing your job, playing the sport that you grew up obsessed with,"
Jonathan Martin also cites the devastating back injury he got while with the Carolina Panthers, prompting him to retire from football.
Richie Incognito haven't spoken to Martin ever since he "walked out" from the Miami Doplhins two years ago.
"The last time I talked to Jonathan Martin was the day he walked out of that locker room," Incognito said earlier this month.
"I'm ready to move on with my life and career," Incognito previously wrote of Jonathan Martin on Twitter. "I've been dragged through the mud for months by my 'best friend'. #betrayed #railroaded"walked out of that locker room,"
Neither Martin nor Incognito has attempted to get in touch with each other.
If you don't know... Now you know pic.twitter.com/hE3vimkXdu
— Jonathan A. Martin (@J_Martin71) August 26, 2015
